Today's reflection

As I get silent and open myself to listening, I am gently reminded of the importance of this act. I am not sure what the coming hours will hold, nor the coming days/months/years, but one thing I am sure of is that they will hold exactly what they are meant to.

Current visioning includes the possibility of massage therapy school and returning to university for a master's in counseling. It is amazing the conversations you invoke when you put yourself out there and share with "the most unlikely of persons" what you're visioning for your future.

Last Thursday, I was all set to sign up for massage therapy school to start 11 April for day classes. Lydia and I talked and I was on all but "go"... But Monday night, as I fell into a sickly foggy-headed sleep, I realized I wasn't prepared to give up my "day life" of volunteering and participating on my board to commit to massage therapy school. I had to make a[nother] tough decision.

At a United Way site visit for the board I sit on, I had a really eye-opening, rewarding conversation with someone whom I have not ever (in three years) had such a deep, personal conversation with. It blew me away and I walked away from the conversation (once again) considering returning to university for a master's degree in counseling.

As a Renaissance Soul (and just a plain soul), I am charged with determining what path I am to follow right now. I keep having revelations, conversations, and conducting readings and writings that are leading me to answering this question for the immediate "future", and then new information comes into my ever-loving analytical brain ... and what I really need to focus on is trusting my intuition, trusting my gut.

I tell friends and family (and mere strangers, even) to trust their gut all the time. So why is it I am having a hard time trusting my own? Maybe because my gut tells me all these opportunities/paths will lead to happiness. Pure, divinely-guided happiness. Maybe because I am afraid of closing a door that seems viable and true, and maybe, just maybe it's because I haven't found the path for this moment in this time-space sequence. Or maybe I have and my left brain is still rattling it around and analyzing it...

For now, I return to silence. I return to peace. And I sit as a student listening; waiting for my teacher to appear.